This time, I'm not ghoing to put the whole comments and such up, because, 1, there isn't anything for me to refute in the first at least two paragraphs, 2, I felt a need to refute most of what she had said, becasue at that point, I was trying to figure out what she thinks happened, and make sure she could do the same for me, and 3, it was a bitch to format.
"I saw you sitting with people you generally interact with and rather than be presumptuous and think that it was b/c of me, I was giving you a little credit, thinking that gasp you were maybe having fun with someone else." Well, thanks. But still, I would think that if I stopped talking to you right after you said something potentially offensive, you'd at least ask and make sure that it wasn't because of what you said. And I was having fun with them. That's the reason I chose to sit with them, as opposed to one of the (theoretical, as I never really thought about sitting somewhere else) other tabels I could've sat at.
"I don’t know why you have to assume that I’m calling you cocky " Maybe... this? "Do you understand how mean and cocky you have gotten, especially towards me?" But I guess I could be wrong...
"Maybe you’re being more hostile towards the world and I take that personally" That's probably closer to the truth than any reason I could come up with. Plus, I'm probably slipping from the "Ooh, shiny!" stage of sleep deprivation to the "fuck off" stage.
And the whole not being able to reasure you about Bobby thing? Well, at the point where you wanted me to, not only did I have no clue who he was, I didn't really have anywhere near a good grasp of what was going on, because you would never tell me anything when I asked. All I knew then was what I could make sense out of when you were talking to Shannon, which I don't always pay close attention to when I have other homework, food, or there are other conversations going on at the table that I want to listen to or be a part of. So, the kind of friend that "flat out refuses to reassure another friend, regardless of the situation" is one who doesn't know what the situation is.
"Wonder why I didn’t write about you and your gaiety in my private post?" No, I was just wondering why you wouldn't write something in what you told me was a "private" entry, not "freinds-only". There's a distinction to me, because I dont' know how livejournal works.
"Acting like I’m interested is not as good as being truthfully interested", but worse than letting me know you aren't interested flat out. Because I can usually tell, and it makes me feel bad, because I know I must be boring you, and you aren't making any effort to change the subject to something you are interested in, which translates in my mind to you not wanting to talk to me. "Would you rather have me tell you that I don’t care about [some] of your hobbies and likes/dislikes?" Yes. Becasue then I won't bother you about them, and that'll make talking easier.
"And I can think of at least 4 guys you have pointed out homo-tendencies about and talked about how you would go about proving it. Fine, you may not remember" because I wasn't being serious. If I were serious, I'd just do... er... whatever I told you I'd do, as opposed to joking with you about what I'd do. (And I still don't remmeber)
"You make me sound terribly shallow. Things involving me and my acceptance into a person’s life[, as opposed to guys,] affect me as a whole person." But a large part of the time, you're trying to be accepted into aome guy's life. I can't recall you ever acting like this because you were trying to be freinds with a girl and they weren't helping it happen. While what I said sounds more shallow, it's only semantics.
"And b/c I’m the only one who’s doing anything about trying to be friends with him, when something goes wrong or nothing happens at all, it’s me (in my mind) who has obviously screwed something up." And look who just described how I feel about trying to be freinds with you (most of the time)!
"That is very infuriating that it would be thought of as being so shallow." Well, you weren't. I just chose bad words to describe what I thought.
"I can see defending yourself but when there’s a discrepancy in whether you said “bus stop” or “north entrance,” I think it can just go unnoticed being that it’s not really pertinent to the situation at all." Well, I don't remember what I said. Because I know I didn't use that particular term, I'm not sure if what you wrote is exactly what I said, and the way you wrote it, which is undoubtedly very similar to what I did say, could have slightly changed how it comes off and a person's perception of what I meant and such. But it was still just a random, unimportant ramble.
"Going into that whole spiel about the “…” shouldn’t have been aimed at me either." I wasn't saying it was your fault, I was just letting you know that the whole emotion and meaning evoked by how you thought I said what I said was wrong and not intended when I said it.
"I’m fully expecting this to go on forever ... Just as long as I have a chance to say my side." I don't. Because I don't want it to take forever, I'm going to do everything I can to make it not. And you'll always have a chance to say your side, as I will always have a chance to say mine. The thing is making sure to try to understand the other person's side, and point out fallacities that make a large difference and are most definitely not the opinion itself. You never attack the opinion, but the facts supporting it that can be attacked, so that when the person agrees with you, it's not because they want you to stop arguing, it's because they realize thet they really are wrong in their opinion. And becasue I know my motives for everything I can remember doing, I know when you're wrong. That's about all I can correct, which makes for an unfortuantely not-very-short process.
"I saw you sitting with people you generally interact with and rather than be presumptuous and think that it was b/c of me, I was giving you a little credit, thinking that gasp you were maybe having fun with someone else." Well, thanks. But still, I would think that if I stopped talking to you right after you said something potentially offensive, you'd at least ask and make sure that it wasn't because of what you said. And I was having fun with them. That's the reason I chose to sit with them, as opposed to one of the (theoretical, as I never really thought about sitting somewhere else) other tabels I could've sat at.
"I don’t know why you have to assume that I’m calling you cocky " Maybe... this? "Do you understand how mean and cocky you have gotten, especially towards me?" But I guess I could be wrong...
"Maybe you’re being more hostile towards the world and I take that personally" That's probably closer to the truth than any reason I could come up with. Plus, I'm probably slipping from the "Ooh, shiny!" stage of sleep deprivation to the "fuck off" stage.
And the whole not being able to reasure you about Bobby thing? Well, at the point where you wanted me to, not only did I have no clue who he was, I didn't really have anywhere near a good grasp of what was going on, because you would never tell me anything when I asked. All I knew then was what I could make sense out of when you were talking to Shannon, which I don't always pay close attention to when I have other homework, food, or there are other conversations going on at the table that I want to listen to or be a part of. So, the kind of friend that "flat out refuses to reassure another friend, regardless of the situation" is one who doesn't know what the situation is.
"Wonder why I didn’t write about you and your gaiety in my private post?" No, I was just wondering why you wouldn't write something in what you told me was a "private" entry, not "freinds-only". There's a distinction to me, because I dont' know how livejournal works.
"Acting like I’m interested is not as good as being truthfully interested", but worse than letting me know you aren't interested flat out. Because I can usually tell, and it makes me feel bad, because I know I must be boring you, and you aren't making any effort to change the subject to something you are interested in, which translates in my mind to you not wanting to talk to me. "Would you rather have me tell you that I don’t care about [some] of your hobbies and likes/dislikes?" Yes. Becasue then I won't bother you about them, and that'll make talking easier.
"And I can think of at least 4 guys you have pointed out homo-tendencies about and talked about how you would go about proving it. Fine, you may not remember" because I wasn't being serious. If I were serious, I'd just do... er... whatever I told you I'd do, as opposed to joking with you about what I'd do. (And I still don't remmeber)
"You make me sound terribly shallow. Things involving me and my acceptance into a person’s life[, as opposed to guys,] affect me as a whole person." But a large part of the time, you're trying to be accepted into aome guy's life. I can't recall you ever acting like this because you were trying to be freinds with a girl and they weren't helping it happen. While what I said sounds more shallow, it's only semantics.
"And b/c I’m the only one who’s doing anything about trying to be friends with him, when something goes wrong or nothing happens at all, it’s me (in my mind) who has obviously screwed something up." And look who just described how I feel about trying to be freinds with you (most of the time)!
"That is very infuriating that it would be thought of as being so shallow." Well, you weren't. I just chose bad words to describe what I thought.
"I can see defending yourself but when there’s a discrepancy in whether you said “bus stop” or “north entrance,” I think it can just go unnoticed being that it’s not really pertinent to the situation at all." Well, I don't remember what I said. Because I know I didn't use that particular term, I'm not sure if what you wrote is exactly what I said, and the way you wrote it, which is undoubtedly very similar to what I did say, could have slightly changed how it comes off and a person's perception of what I meant and such. But it was still just a random, unimportant ramble.
"Going into that whole spiel about the “…” shouldn’t have been aimed at me either." I wasn't saying it was your fault, I was just letting you know that the whole emotion and meaning evoked by how you thought I said what I said was wrong and not intended when I said it.
"I’m fully expecting this to go on forever ... Just as long as I have a chance to say my side." I don't. Because I don't want it to take forever, I'm going to do everything I can to make it not. And you'll always have a chance to say your side, as I will always have a chance to say mine. The thing is making sure to try to understand the other person's side, and point out fallacities that make a large difference and are most definitely not the opinion itself. You never attack the opinion, but the facts supporting it that can be attacked, so that when the person agrees with you, it's not because they want you to stop arguing, it's because they realize thet they really are wrong in their opinion. And becasue I know my motives for everything I can remember doing, I know when you're wrong. That's about all I can correct, which makes for an unfortuantely not-very-short process.
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